School House Polka

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First Appeared On:

Sumo of the Opera

Lyrics

LARRY
Whether, whether, whether, whether,
Whether you like it or not
Weather, weather, weather, weather,
Weather is cold, warm and hot

Two, two, two, two
Two of my favorite toys
I’m bringing to, to, to, to
A place the first one enjoys
and I like it, too!

LARRY & SINGERS
Homophones! Homophones!
Where the crews come cruising down the plane!
Homophones! Homophones!
I need my kneaded biscuits plain!

LARRY
I know a pear, pear, pear, pear
With a pair of really soft shoes
He wears them to pare, pare, pare, pare
Bushes that easily bruise.

I planted rows, rows, rows, rows
of a horribly bad smelling rose
Now no one knows, knows, knows, knows
If the scent will be leaving my nose!
But most likely no.

LARRY & SINGERS
Oh!
Homophones! Homophones!
Where the toads are towed out on the plane!
Homophones! Homophones!
I need my kneaded biscuits plain!

LARRY
Whether, whether, whether, whether,
Whether you like it or not
Weather, weather, weather, weather,
Weather is cold, warm and hot.

NARRATOR
This has been School House Polka with Larry.
Tune in next time to hear Larry sing…

LARRY
What happened to my preposition?
I took it on an expedition.
Put it by the thing I keep my fish in.
Got infected with a skin condition.

NARRATOR
… And…

LARRY
I’m a pronoun,
They’re a pronoun,
He’s a pronoun,
She’s a pronoun
Wouldn’t you like to be a pronoun too?

NARRATOR
… And…

LARRY
It was the
Biggest, bluest, cleanest, brightest
Quickest, newest, roundest, nicest
Softest, tallest, toughest, lightest
Smoothest, kindest, flatest, tightest
Most amazing adjective I’d ever seen!

NARRATOR
… And…

LARRY (O.S.)
I’m done.

NARRATOR
…Interjections? Adverbs?

LARRY (O.S.)
…ahh, no.

NARRATOR
Alrighty.

Words by Mike Nawrocki
Music by Mike Nawrocki and Kurt Heinecke