Salezmunz Rap

SCALLIONS
Check it out, check it out

SCALLION 1
If you want a big hat…

SCALLIONS 2 AND 3
We got that!

SCALLION 1
If you need a tube of glue…

SCALLIONS 2 AND 3
We got that too!

SCALLION 1
A 20 gallon wok? …

SCALLIONS 2 AND 3
They’re in stock!

And if you need refrigerators
to keep extra mashed potatoes
Or a giant air compressor
to blow fruit flies off your dresser,
Or a dehydrated strudel
or a nose ring for your poodle,
Or a five pound can of tuna
And some flippers to go scuba…

Scuba! scuba! Scooby-doo-be-do-ba
Here we go scuba,
Come on!

SCALLION 1
If you need a rubber hose…

SCALLIONS 2 AND 3
We got those!

SCALLION 1
A rhododendron tree…

SCALLIONS 2 AND 3
We got three!

SCALLION 1
A wrap-around deck…

SCALLIONS 2 AND 3
Got to check

But if you need a window scraper
And a gross of toilet paper
or a ratchet set and pliers
And surround sound amplifiers
And a solar turkey chopper
Or a padded gopher bopper,
Flannel shirts for looking grungy
And some rope for going bungee…

Bungee! Bungee! Bungee-wun-gee-fun-gee
Here we go bungee!
Come on!

SCALLION 1
What we’ve mentioned are only just some…

SCALLION 2
Of the wonderful things yet to come

SCALLION 1
These pictures you keep are so… nice

SCALLION 3
But you really should take our advice…

SCALLION 1
Happiness waits at the Stuff Mart!

SCALLIONS
All you need is lots more stuff!
You really really ought to!

Madame Blueberry
How could I afford not to?

SCALLION 1
Now you’ve got it.

BOB
Oh great!

SCALLION 1
Happiness waits at the Stuff Mart!

SCALLIONS
All you need is lots more stuff!

Words and Music by Mike Nawrocki and Kurt Heinecke