THREE SCALLIONS, FRANKENCELERY (QUARTET):
There lived a man so long ago, his memory’s but faint
Was not admired, did not inspire like president or saint
But people came from far and near with their afflicted pets
For a special cure they knew for sure wouldn’t come from other vets!
Woooahhh …

LARRY THE CUCUMBER:
This is a song for your poor, sick penguin
He’s got a fever and his toes are blue
But if I sing to your poor, sick penguin
He will feel better in a day or two!
Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo
Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-eee-ooo
Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo
Yada-yada yada-yada yad-eee-ooo!

PA GRAPE:
He’s gone a little loopy,
In case you haven’t heard.
Here’s a couple’ pennicilin
For your sicky, arctic bird.

QUARTET:
No skeptic could explain just how, nor could one oft rebut,
The wonderous deeds that went on in that little Alpine hut.
Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps
For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps.
Woooahhh …

PA GRAPE:
Good news on the penguin, doc! He’s up and kickin’!

LARRY:
This is a song for your pregnant kitty
She’s looking nauseous and a week past due
But if I sing for your pregnant kitty
She will feel better in a day or two!

Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo
Yodel-leh-hee yodel-ye-dee yodel-eee-ooo
Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-aye-hoo
Yada-yada yada-yada ya-ga-doo!

PA GRAPE:
Jump in your car, drive into the city,
Buy a jug of milk for your nauseated kitty.

QUARTET:
The practice grew, their profits flew until one fateful day,
When the nurse who did assist the doc asked for a raise in pay.
The doctor pondered this awhile, sat back and scratched his scalp, then said: ‘No way, Jose!’
To the nurse of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps.
Woooahhh …

PA GRAPE:
Good news on the kitty, doc! She’s feelin’ great. Six kittens. Named one after you.

LARRY:
This is a song for your bear-trapped teddy
He looks uncomfy, think I’d be too.
But if I sing for your bear-trapped teddy
He will feel better in a day or two!

Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo
Yodel-leh-hee O-layhee Oly-ooo
Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo
Yodel-leh-hee yaba-daba yaba-doo!

BEAR:
Grooooooowllll!

PA GRAPE:
Oh, yeah — that’ll work. He’s good.

LARRY:
Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hee yodel-leh-hoo!
No, wait! This should work!
Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo yodel-leh-hoo!

QUARTET:
Now the moral of the story, it’s the point we hope we’ve made:
When you go a little loopy better keep your nurse well paid!

LARRY:
Yodel-leh-hee! Yodel-leh-hoo!
Yodel odle odle aye de aye de ooo-ooo-ooo!

QUARTET:
Woah! Some would stand in silence while some just scratched their scalps
For the curious ways of the Yodeling Veterinarian of the Alps!

Words by Mike Nawrocki. Music by Mike Nawrocki and Kurt Heinecke.